


How Peridot Lost Faith in Humanity Because of An Online Quiz

by CoreyWW



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Anger, Art, Camp Pining Hearts, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Internet, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Romance, Roommates, Tablets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17693723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: “I took a quiz on Clickbait.com to see which Camp Pining Hearts character I was ... and I got Paulette!” Peridot clutched at her hair. “Inconceivable! Illogical! The very IDEA!I should pursue legal action!”---[A short silly Lapidot story written a long time ago but never posted. Takes place before Raising the Barn.]





	How Peridot Lost Faith in Humanity Because of An Online Quiz

“GYAAAA!” Peridot yelled as she threw her tablet across the floor of the barn, landing lightly at Lapis’s feet.

Lapis glanced down, then went back to reading her manga.

Peridot paced in front of Lapis, stammering in anger.

“ _This is the greatest injustice in the history of the universe!”_ Peridot yelled.

“Why this time?” Lapis asked casually.

Peridot pointed at the tablet on the floor.

“I took a quiz on Clickbait.com to see which Camp Pining Hearts character I was ... and I got Paulette!” Peridot clutched at her hair. “Inconceivable! Illogical! The very IDEA! _I should pursue legal action_!”

Lapis raised an eyebrow.

“What’s ‘legal action’?” she asked.

Peridot shrugged.

“I dunno. It’s what Steven says people on Earth do instead of blasting each other with lasers.” Peridot immediately raised her voice. “But _clearly_ the test is flawed! No one else uses the world wide webzone to spread falsehoods such as this! _It’s unprecedented_!”

“Well, let’s see ...” Lapis picked up the tablet, figuring this would be good for a laugh. She read the results on screen. “‘You are Paulette. You are a kind person, but also sort of ditzy.’” Lapis gave a good-natured smile. “So far, seems accurate.”

“ _Ditzy_?!” Peridot yelled. “I BUILT A DRILL IN TWO WEEKS _OUT OF NOTHING_!”

Lapis continued reading.

“‘Even though you are kind, you are sometimes prone to fits of irrational anger ...’” she read.

“I AM NOT PRONE TO IRRATIONAL ANGER!” Peridot said, kicking the wall of the barn. “Ow!” She hopped on her foot for a moment.

“‘You are also generally considered to be adorable.’”

“I am a fearsome force to be reckoned with!” Peridot insisted as she fell to the floor clutching her foot. “Ow ...”

“Aww ... did you hurt your foot?” Lapis said kindly.

“No ...” Peridot said, not letting go of her foot.

Lapis hopped off her chair and, after a moment hesitation, patted Peridot on the shoulder.

“There, there. It’s okay,” Lapis said. She considered hugging Peridot, but despite her greatest efforts, Lapis still had a hard time with outward affection.

Peridot let go of her foot.

“I am a fearsome creature ...” Peridot muttered.

“I know you are,” Lapis said. “Why don’t you try to work on more meepmorp and just forget all about that dumb quiz, okay?”

Peridot glanced up at Lapis, lingering on her eyes for just a moment, before nodding.

“Okay,” Peridot said. “I suppose I could channel my rage into a sculpture. Preferably one of me setting the human internet on fire.”

“ _There you go_!” Lapis said.

“Thanks,” Peridot said as she got up from the floor. She began to walk away, but stopped. “Oh, could you do me a favor and plug my tablet up? This information network may be primitive and full of lies, but _I need it_.”

Lapis chuckled.

“Sure,” she said.


End file.
